Bomb.org.uk
June, 2003
28.06.2003 Gordacious!
Acts of Gord never fails to make me smile. Its essentially the experiences of a bloke who runs a computer game shop. Day after day idiots come in, and he writes about them on the site. If you've ever worked with the public, you'll know what this guy goes through. Heres a funny story I read at Computer Stupidities
Recently I overheard two co-workers, the first of which was training the other one.
Co-Worker #1: ” A boolean variable has two possible values: true or false.”
Co-Worker #2: ” Umm…true?”
Its a very simple joke, I guess its one that only the techies will appreciate tho…
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27.06.2003 Dodgy Guts…
Hmmm that booze i drank last night wasnt sitting too well on my guts when i woke up… In fact, I've been feeling really off all morning. Well, at least until I managed to grab myself a greasy bacon n egg butty. Now I feel muuuuuuch better! ;o) I havent heard from Charlie for a few days… I get the distinct impression she's not talking to me. I havent exactly established why yet… its kinda difficult when someones not talking to you… Hmmm lets just see how this one plays out hey…
I've just bought 2 new tshirts from tinypenis.co.uk. Thats right… they're the really offensive ones. One says ” Satan fucked my mother” and the other simply says ” What part of Fuck Off don't you understand?” . These Tshirts always make me chuckle and I get loads of interest from the ladies, even if it is just so they can read what it says. heh heh heh…
I was kinda disapointed that they hadnt implimented a secure server for payments especially since they had the thwarte logo on the page… Still, I really *really* wanted those tshirts, so i put my credit card in anyway.
ok… i don't do this very often, but i couldnt resist!
The weathers pretty grotty today… no rain, no sun, just loads and loads of clouds.
On a happy note… I've just got a text from Charlie! Turns out she is talking to me afterall… Thank fuck for that! 
)
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27.06.2003 I is googlin…
So… i finally did it. I actually resorted to paying to advertise this site. I've started a campaign with google adwords. If you search for blog on any of googles english languages sites, this domain will come up in the adwords section on the right. Cool huh? ;o) Today I'm happy. P-rock has finally reappeared on TV! yay! its been gone for a month or so, but finally the ultimate punk rock channel has come back to us! ALL HAIL P-ROCK!.
The return of P-rock has prompted me to buy an album I've wanted for a long time. Its called ” smoke the roach” and its by a band called Whitmore I absolutly LOVE their music… its punk rock with a british accent and it fuckin rocks! I can't wait for it to arrive so I can hear some of their other choons!
Tonight I'm feeling kinda shit. No ones talking to me. I've text like, all my freinds, but no body's bothered replying… Typical really, when your feeling good and confident you have no problems finding people to talk to, but the second you feel alone and in the need of a freind, theres no one around… Hmmm… ah well, alcohol always seems to help with that one.
Before i go. This is very funny just goes to show that the scummy bastards in shops never bother to check the signature on your card… they look at it go… hmmm its a sqiggle and let you on your way. Idiots.
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26.06.2003 Pay Day!
yay! Its that time of the month again (no… i havent got the decorators in… i'm a BLOKE remember?). Finally after weeks of seriously lacking money, my pays in. So today I treated myself to a dinner of smoked salmon parcels and tesco's prawn cocktail. OK.. its hardly a banquet, but i love smoked salmon and I felt the need to eat some today.
Also my new Visual Quick Pro guide to PHP arrived today. Now I can play around with GD and start learning about Object Oriented Programming (sounds fun, i can hardly wait!) ;o)
So Britney Spears has finally admitted she's tried drugs, drinks, smokes and isnt a virgin. For fucks sake… i mean, big fucking whoopee doo! She's the same age as me. She's only human, why the hell has she been pretending that she's not for all this time.
Anyways, i reckon Mr Timberlake was only with her to get a peice of the britney pie… i mean who wouldnt? Lets face it, he wined her, dined her, fucked her and dumped her. Could you imagine going out with such a stroppy little bitch full time? Jeeeesus, it'd do my nut right in!
I got the chance to have a little play with the new release of MacOS X today… codenamed Panther. Outwardly its pretty similar to Jaguar but has a bunch of wicked new features, including this sweet little gadget that lets you expand your desktop so you can see every single window simoultaniously. Its gotta be seen to be believed, but it looks seriously cool.
Greg Rusedski impressed me last night with his outburst at wimbledon Apparently he said fucking four times. He also said wanker frigging and shit. You know what good on him… that little twat in the croud should have kept their fucking mouth shut while he's playing and thats stupid fucking umpire should have let him replay the point… he was bang out of order, and in those circumstances i would have been up in the crowd finding the noisy little bastard and beating the shit out of him.
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25.06.2003 Ooops!
My Audioblog thingy stopped working tonight… couldnt work out why, then I realised I'd set the column as a TINYINT which has a maximum value of 255. doh. I've changed it to a bog standard normal INT with a 4 character limit, so i should be good for just under 10,000 new tracks! ) Thats it… it was broke, now I've fixed it. at 2 minutes to midnight. God i'm sad.
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25.06.2003 Stood Up…
Gutted… completly gutted, thats pretty much all I can say at the mo. Tonight I was supposed to be meeting the delectable Charlie again… unfortunatly due to problems else where, Charlie was unable to make it, leaving me feeling kinda bummed out.
Its a shame really… I was looking forward to meeting Charlie again and getting to know her a bit better, i mean, i know its not her fault she couldnt make it, and I definalty don't hold it against her, but its just left me feeling a bit down now… Kinda typical for me really… get my hopes up and then end up feeling really shit when things don't go to plan.
Ah well… such is life I guess.
Still… on the positive side my dad was feeling sorry for me and went n got me some grub from maccys including one of those rather yummy strawberry and white chocolate mcflurrys. Good old dad! ;o)
Its occured to me today, its a good job I don't actually buy everything I see advertised in spams. Otherwise I'd be sat her buried under a mountain of generic viagra, indulging in various types of porn including but not limited to barely legal teens, sex on the farm, sex in iraq and plentiful amounts of facials. While doing this, I'd also be making millions of pounds through various MLM schemes and counting my 500 decks of cards featuring heroes, villans, weasels and for some reason Hillary Clinton.
Also, why do I receive 100's of adverts for anti spam software every day? I swear I didnt sign up for them. Surely the makers must see the irony in them advertising their software by spamming! Eitherway, its doing my nut in. Especially when I receive emails sent by complete retards that dont understand about MIME enoding HTML emails before they send them.
Anyway… thats enough ranting for one day.
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25.06.2003 Stood Up…
Gutted… completly gutted, thats pretty much all I can say at the mo. Tonight I was supposed to be meeting the delectable Charlie again… unfortunatly due to problems else where, Charlie was unable to make it, leaving me feeling kinda bummed out.
Its a shame really… I was looking forward to meeting Charlie again and getting to know her a bit better, i mean, i know its not her fault she couldnt make it, and I definalty don't hold it against her, but its just left me feeling a bit down now… Kinda typical for me really… get my hopes up and then end up feeling really shit when things don't go to plan.
Ah well… such is life I guess.
Still… on the positive side my dad was feeling sorry for me and went n got me some grub from maccys including one of those rather yummy strawberry and white chocolate mcflurrys. Good old dad! ;o)
Its occured to me today, its a good job I don't actually buy everything I see advertised in spams. Otherwise I'd be sat her buried under a mountain of generic viagra, indulging in various types of porn including but not limited to barely legal teens, sex on the farm, sex in iraq and plentiful amounts of facials. While doing this, I'd also be making millions of pounds through various MLM schemes and counting my 500 decks of cards featuring heroes, villans, weasels and for some reason Hillary Clinton.
Also, why do I receive 100's of adverts for anti spam software every day? I swear I didnt sign up for them. Surely the makers must see the irony in them advertising their software by spamming! Eitherway, its doing my nut in. Especially when I receive emails sent by complete retards that dont understand about MIME enoding HTML emails before they send them.
Anyway… thats enough ranting for one day.
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25.06.2003 Bored… bored, bored bored BORED!
goddamit I'm bored. Feeling kinda blue today… not entirly sure why, but hey, such is life. For other people feeling like me heres a few funnies to brighten your day. THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN
Between 18 and 22 a woman is like Africa.
Half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.
Between 23 and 30 a woman is like America….
Well developed and open to trade, especially for high financed investors.
Between 31 and 45 a woman is like India…
Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 46 and 55 a woman is like France….
Gently aging but sensual, with an appreciation for the finer things.
Between 56 and 60 she is like Yugoslavia….
lost the war, haunted by past mistakes, and in need of massive reconstruction.
Between 61 and 70, she is like Russia….
wide and unpatrolled borders, with a frigid climate that keeps people away.
Between 70 and 80, a woman is like Mongolia….
a long, glorious and all-conquering past, but not much of a future.
From 80 on, a woman is like Afghanistan.
everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN
Between 15 and 80 a man is like Iraq……. Ruled by a Dick
According to this movie, R2D2 is a dirty little shite who's harddrives are quite clearly just filled with porn! No bloody wonder he can't synthesize speach!
Two things that are shocking about this movie. Firstly apparently, in other parts of the world they know lynx shower gel as ” axe” WTF? Secondly… its seems damn more effective than what we get over here in the UK! dammit… I want the AXE effect, its way better than the lynx effect!
Oh and I think i would have prefered the matrix reloaded if it had gone a little bit more like this
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24.06.2003 Funny…
Sorry… I saw this and just couldnt resist posting it… 
On another completely seperate note not related to stuffed rabbit porn I came across this game. Its about killing webdesigners… I found this particually offensive what with being a webdesigner myself… still bloody funny tho… ;o)
I think my dog might be mental… Every five minutes, she runs upstairs, comes into my room, looks at me for a minute then goes back downstairs. Anyone know the number for a good doggie psycologist? ;o)
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24.06.2003 Catching up…
I think I'm slowly begining to catch up on some sleep… slowly but surely… I was knackered when I woke up this morning, but by lunchtime I was back on form and by mid afternoon, I was back to me hyperactive old self… I wonder what tomorrow will be like. Today I've discovered that there is some really really strange shit on the net… for instance this site Sells a variety of spiky bra's. Thats right… padded bra's with spikes all over them. Thats great n all… but i thought bra's were supposed to be worn under other items of clothing… How the hell are you gonna get a skinny top on over that? oh… and If spikes arent your thing the nutters also sell a variety of other bra's featuring floral arrangements and what apear to be goldfish…. I give up, these people are quite clearly tripping or something!
Has anyone else noticed how the new apple G5 looks like a giant cheese grater? Now I'm no big fans of mac's but I think they've taken a big step back in the design stakes with this peice o crap.
I've just seen something. Its scary… very very scary. Google in Arabic! well… it appears to be something like arabic, but everythings aligned to the right and the search box is back to front when you type in it and theres scary squiggles all over the page! Whats happening?! Coincidently, Google also have a variety of other language sites including but not limited to pig latin, klingon and ” hacker”
Oh… before I go… CONGRATS! to the mad man from ThisIsJpa Apparently he's gettin married! Finally the world can release their daughters! (but watch out tho… cos I'm still single! Mwa ha ha ha ha!!!!)
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